September 2009
40 posts
Ghostbusters... IN SPACE.
Venkman: Where are all the ghosts?
Spengler: There are no ghosts. It's space.
Stantz: This was a bad business plan.
3 tags
It only took me 200 pages of Dave Eggers' memoir...
The best part? It would be called “Print Is Dead.”
There is no justice in this world.
Although sometimes bad people die. So maybe there’s a little justice. Thinking on it more, I realize that sometimes good people die, too. Man. I guess there is no justice after all.
Criminals get caught. Which is a point for justice. But then sometimes we convict innocent people, too. So that kind of cancels that out, right? And so we’re back to the whole “no justice”...
One rule to a flat stomach -- OBEY.
Also, cut down on fatty foods. Maybe eat some vegetables once in a while, instead of a candy bar or something. So really, it’s two rules — OBEY and the ‘better eating’ thing.
Oh! Shoot! Try and eat on some kind of schedule, too. I mean, not just whenever you’re bored, or something. You need to see food as this kind of luxury, not something that goes with every...
Dear Olivia Wilde,
I don’t know quite how to say this, but it’s not going to work out. After all, you’re an actress, a princess, and Maxim magazine’s Hottest Woman in the World. Me? I’m just an aspiring writer with nothing but some money I stole from a street beggar, and the shirt on my back. Which I also stole. Our lives are just too different, Olivia — we have nothing in common....
Unpacking the blue knapsack -- male privilege in...
Like all privilege, male privilege in the Smurf universe is invisible to all but those who don’t have it. So, mainly Smurfette, really. But that is just the kind of tyranny of the majority that smurfeminism is fighting against!
At first, there appear to be no main differences between the lives of all the male Smurfs and Smurfette, but on closer inspection one can see that all the male...
Motivations behind my bank charging me a...
“Hey Carl, I just finished adjusting Avery Edison’s overdraft. She can borrow a couple hundred extra dollars if she needs to now!”
“Wow, that’s pretty neat of you, Hank. Hey, quick question — did she ask us to do this for her?”
“That’s the best part — she doesn’t even know I’ve done it yet. So to answer your question in...
My reaction to that dude who stands in the street...
Wow! Thank God you were here, otherwise I wouldn’t have known about all the atrocities going on around the world that can be prevented with something as simple as thirty dollars a month from my bank account for the rest of my life. I had assumed that such terrible truths about human existence on this planet — like famine, or torture, or genocide — were problems simply too big for...
1 tag
As I drank the water, I realized it was POISON....