Tuesday the 30th of June, 2009  

John Connor, after saving the human race from destruction at the hands of Skynet, tries the dating scene.

John sits at the table, waiting. His eyes are scanning every exit, a reflex he can’t get rid of. She walks in. Angels don’t descend.

The machines always tend to look perfect. The only way to be even close to sure is to pick an uggo. That’s one of John’s rules. You might have read that on John’s blog. He has over a dozen readers.

“Hi, I’m Justine.”

“I’m John. I’ll need you to down that glass of water, please. I mean, if you’re not worried about rust.”

She’s taken aback, but heard that this guy takes some getting used to.

“Did you bring your birth certificate?”

“Um… no.”

“I suppose it was destroyed on Judgement Day. Very convienient.”

“No, I just… I don’t usually bring it on dates.”

The waiter approaches, a little too stiff for John’s taste, but he’ll let it slide.

“I hope you don’t mind — I ordered.”

The waiter gives John his food — a raw steak. John takes out a carving knife and divides the meat into chunks. After inspecting them, he takes a blowtorch to each piece, pops it in his mouth and chews for a full sixty seconds.

“They can hide under flesh. You have to see under it to be sure.”

“Well, you can’t see under my flesh, how do you know I’m not a machine?”

He stares at her.

“Correct. How do I know you’re not a machine?”

More chewing.

“So tell me about yourself, John. What are your parents like?”

“My mother is dead. She was amazing.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry to hea-“

“-She was amazing.”

The steak sizzles in the blue flame.

“So I hear you were in the army?”

“No, never joined the army. Just fought in a war. For mankind. You remember that later when I ask to come in for coffee.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I think I’m gonna go.”

She gets up, walks away.

“Wait! Wait! Um… come with me if you want to live?”

She leaves.

John Connor will take his steak to go.