Wednesday the 3rd of February, 2010  

Dear Abby.

Editor’s Note: Abigail Van Buren is on vacation this week, so today we feature responses from our guest columnist, Prisoner 242B.

Dear Abby,

My husband has recently developed a terrible habit. After dinner at the house of a friend or colleague, he will declare the meal to be “the best [he’s] ever had.” Clearly, this cannot be true of every single meal, and word of his insincerity is beginning to spread throughout our community like a viscous, bitter sludge. How can I tell him that his lies are tearing our marriage apart?

Yours,
Supper-lative.

Dear Supper-lative,

Shank him.

Yours,
Prisoner 242B.

PS. Send cigarettes.