Sunday the 21st of February, 2010  

I don’t watch LOST, but I still have some theories.

• Everyone on the island is a former Philip Morris exec, and the smoke monster is a legion of souls who died of lung cancer. We figure this out when Hurley confronts the smoke monster and finds an ACLU card in its wallet. This explains why everyone on the island dresses like they’re in Mad Men. I don’t know how the polar bear fits into this.
• The story is not taking place in present day, and is in fact happening “a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.” The Dharma Initiative is a project designed to create clone troopers with more human characteristics — the various threats on the island are meant to teach the clones initiative, and strategy. Sawyer is a Jedi. I don’t know how the polar bear fits into this.
• The polar bear is running the whole thing from behind a curtain. I don’t know how the polar bear fits into this.